I asked a good friend months before both of our weddings, “When you get married… you think it’ll be different?” He responded, “It will be for you.” In the time that I have been married, things have changed. It seems like my work days are longer and time with my wife is shorter. Every opportunity outside of work is focused on nobody else but my relationship with my wife.
I think there is a significant reason for this:
After moving to Indianapolis, I did not know anybody. I left most friends back in Tennessee and my best friend was back in Crawfordsville. When I really sat down and thought about it – the people I connect with the most are in their 30s, 40s and 50s! I am sure it had nothing to do with the fact that my entire cohort (almost) in graduate school were around those ages.
A little of information about myself – I am a pretty sociable person. I enjoy being around people, I enjoy getting to know other people and have a great time doing it. The fact that Jess and I spend more time with each other is exactly God’s will for her and me. Someone said to us, “When you get married, don’t get into too much. Spend time together.” For the last 6 months, that is what we have done.
As I sit here and ponder the reasons why Jess and I have not had many chances to be with friends or even family, I believe God is telling us, “Logan and Jessie, you have spent the last 2 years away from each other saying goodbye. Learn about each other, pray together, pour into each other, love each other.” We have spent so many years learning about others and having other relationships that once we said “I do” it was time to focus on each other and focus our relationship through God’s will for us.
It is so easy for us to get distracted by our work schedules, our family obligations, career goals and social gatherings that we run ourselves towards exhaustion and when we have a chance to gauge our energy levels – we are completely empty. Now, some have more of a capacity than others, but all of us have a limit. The time with my wife is time I will never have again. I am truly blessed to have such an amazing woman in my life that fills my gaps and completes who I am.
While it would be nice to see friends and have the social interactions I was once so accustomed to, the memories I am creating with Jess is something I will forever cherish.
Maybe you are far from marriage or even years into your own marriage. Paul tells us that if you are married, be married – it is a wonderful thing – However, if you are not married, do not be so focused on getting married (it’s hard work)! Wherever you may be in your relationships – be sure to invest in those that mean the most.